Whoever knew?

Whoever knew that babysitting could be so hard? I don't mean a bad kid that I'm ready to strangle hard. I mean in the makes me want more own kid so bad and feels like my heart is being ripped out. I kept some kids today and when I was leaving one didn't want his mom to come home cause I had to leave. So when I left, he came home with me for a few hours. His brother and sister were not happy that they couldn't come. But, I was in a truck with only one extra seat belt. Anyway, he is the cutest little thing. It's kinda like having one of our own. Fixing his dinner along with my husbands. Watching him play games on the computer. Listening to him having to tell me everything. Oh how it has increased the longing,

I want a baby so bad. I never knew that babysitting would be torture for someone with IF. And fertile people don't understand. I swear if I have to hear one more time... keep my kids and you'll change your mind... or are you sure you want kids? I mean yeah there are some kids who might make you question it.. but is that really an appropriate question for the infertile person? No!

So he pouted when it was time to go home... until I said don't you wanna see your mommy? Then I couldn't drive the 3 mins to their house fast enough. Oh to have a child want to see me that way. I didn't know it could happen....but the longing just got worse.