(Fair Warning: This post may be a little TMI)
When you are young you think you know better than your mom... and when you grow up you realize she was right. And sometimes you wish she wasn't. Life isn't fair. I write this laying in the bed with a heating pad, when I should be up and getting ready for church and company. But no. I'm in the bed waiting for the asprin to kick in. (Yeah I know... TMI... oh well). I've said it for months to my husband... I'll say it again here. If I can't get pregnant then I shouldn't be blessed with the joys of womanhood. It's not fair. I'm one of those women who gets those joys without the other joys that come with it. And shocked the fertility doctor.
Life isn't fair... I've heard the Casey Anthony trial, I read an article the other day about a dad who threw his son out of a moving car into cacti only after choking him, there is a couple here accused of child abuse... and yet I CAN'T have kids? Oh but I get the cramps, headaches, and moodiness. Yeah, I don't understand the ways of God sometimes. And this one I doubt that I will ever understand. Even when we adopt, and I'm holding my blessing and even though I understand that may be the way for me... even if I ever get pregnant... I will be scarred and different from these struggles forever.
So now I get to ponder why life is unfair as I go rush to get ready for church because of having to postpone today. I get to struggle through service with a backache. I get to smile with company instead of crawling in the bed with the heating pad. And all the while, inside I'm screaming... Life Isn't Fair! Well I guess momma warned me.
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