Another weekend down and the adoption application is still not finished. I'm beginning to think procrastination is not a good thing when going through infertility and adoption. We held off a year on the fertility tests (although we were holding off to lose weight which is a good reason), but see where it got us. Test results are much worse than they were. Motivation isn't the problem... It's trying to figure out where to start with my personal testimony. That and J fell asleep while I was working on it and I needed to ask him a question. Hopefully we can still get everything sent off by Tues.
Been doing a lot of looking on internets, found some sites on FB and on Blogger of other people dealing with the same issues. Nice to know you aren't alone. Had someone ask me today if we were scared to adopt because if they get the "mean gene" there isn't much you can do. Yes, nature plays a part but I think there is a lot to say for nurturing and how you are brought up. And it's not like we are jumping into this without thinking. Trust me there has been plenty of prayer over our decision. But us, along with some trusted others think that this is the route God has for us. Do I always like it? NO! Would I love to have a biological child and be pregnant? Of Course! But it's not about having a biological child or being pregnant, it's about giving love and a home to a child who needs it. Will we run into some problems unique to those who have biological children? Quite possibly... but it will definitely be worth it in the long run. Geez, if I ran away from every difficult thing in my life where would I be now?
I'm really glad that we had talked about adoption and done a lot of research on adoption both before we went to the doctor and the past year. It's making this transition easier. It's still painful to know you will never birth a biological child, but I can carry one in my heart just as well. I just want a child to love.
I came to the realization again last night that as wonderful as FB is... it is also evil. It tends to remind someone with IF that you can't have what you want and everytime I get on somedays it feels like someone else that I went to HS or College with is pregnant.. it can get hard. I can't wait for the day I get to make my declaration.
So spent the weekend researching profiles and started looking for digital scrapbooking software. I found some good profiles that have helped spark my imagination. Starting the picture taking and gathering now. Found a lady I'd love to hire to help with our profile. She does great, and they stand out. However, every spare penny is going into the adoption fund... I don't know if we have it now. Well, that's adoption... but into the agency fund. However, I've gotten some good ideas and I think if I try hard I can figure it out and do it myself. And if not, we will definitely remember to hire her later. I'd really like to do it myself though just to make it personal.
So J is preaching the Sunday Service tomorrow. And my parents are coming. Then a friend and his gf are coming for dinner... so hopefully at some point we will be able to finish the application. If not there is always Monday.
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