my response to Pat Robertson

Well, I was going to do a long over due update. Been thinking of doing an update all week when I had time. I had all these things that I wanted to share. But alas I feel the need to address something else first, and let me start by saying this....

Shame on you, Pat Robertson. Shame on you.


Wow, believe it or not that made me feel a little better. I have been in an outgrage almost since I saw it today. Oh wait, you may or may not know to what I am referring to. A woman sent a letter to Pat Robertson saying she didn't understand why men wouldn't continue to date her after finding out she had 3 adopted girls from various countries. Pat Robertson's response "Men don't want the United Nations." Called it "taking on anothers problems" and saying "the kids grow up weird".

Don't get me wrong... people are allowed their opinions. I've even been told to my face that I shouldn't raise someone else's child. But here are 2 things.....
1) Keep your opinions to yourself.
Seriously, I don't care what they are. I really don't. To be honest, I have my opions and if you don't agree with me, then I don't want to hear it. I get opinions on us adopting and the fact that we have chosen to open ourselves up to races. Do I care what you think? No, it just frustrates me. Plain and simple I have to live the life God is leading me towards and lay aside all else and if that means adopting and becoming a blended family well, then that's what I'll do.

2) As a Christian, we are all adopted. The Bible is very clear where it stands on adoption. James 1:27 Says "Pure and unadulterated religion is to care for the orphans and the widows in their distress." Does this mean that everyone is called to adoption? By no means. There are other ways to take care of those in need. But by no means should you belittle those who are called to that or those who are adopted. Ephesians clearly states that we are all adopted into the family of God. Our very existence the basis of our Christian beliefs are that we have been adopted into the family of God. To say that standing up as a Christian figure on t.v. is beyond wrong. To be honest, I can't describe how wrong it is.

People are saying that maybe he is senile. That may be so, but maybe it's time to consider going home. Not representing Christians on t.v. That was neither a majority view nor was it a Christian view. There comes a time when you need to say I can't do this anymore. Mr. Robertson I believe you are there.

You did not just insult the people who adopted children, but the adopted children themselves saying they are weird. You said that we don't know what we will get, that they have been exposed to things. This is very true. However, people who adopt, and I'd say moreover those who choose the older child route know this. It wasn't chosen because it was the easy thing to do. It was the chosen path because it was the right thing to do. And by the way sir, there is no guarantee that a biological child will be "perfect." I'm not looking for perfect. I don't want the perfect child. I want the child that is supposed to be mine. The child that God has in mind for me. No this road isn't easy. It comes with lots of pain, frustration, and tears, but if I waited for the "easy" life, well, I wouldn't be doing much living and would be giving up a whole lot that God has for me.

Tonight, you will be in my prayers Mr. Robertson. Prayers for your salvation and retirement.

Moments

We live in moments. One moment you can be fine and 2 seconds later living in self-pity throwing the pity party of the year (well at least the month).

I've stated before that sometimes Facebook is evil. Not that Facebook in and of itself is bad but because thanks to Facebook I know things about people that otherwise I probably wouldn't keep up with. At times this is great and I like it. At other times though it's a reminder of what I want and don't have. Tonight I found out 3 people were expecting. 2 married a year after us the year we started trying one of those this is #2 and the other married a month before. And before you say I should be happy for them understand it's not that I'm not but that it's a reminder of what I don't have.

Which is funny. I've seen a lot of Veggie Tales but today while babysitting we watched Madame Blueberry. That's what I'm watching right now. It's amazing the things God does to teach you and get you through those moments. The reminder to be thankful and have a grateful heart for what I have now. I know this is talking about material stuff but it still applies now. I'm sure there will be days that I'm going I really wished for this???? I need to be grateful for the moment. And I have an awesome understanding friend I can text late and reveal my pain who doesn't judge me or say it shouldn't hurt but says wow yeah that sucks.

So I choose to be thankful for a God who loves me and sees me through the good and bad moments and sends me understanding friends in the bad moments.

Fundraiser ideas

The following are either things I've made and sold as fundraisers or gifts testing the water to see what my family thought about me being able to sell. I've got some ideas from pinterest that would really step it up as well. Praying now about what to do. There are some t shirt fundraisers as well that are out there. Any ideas on what would really sell?

Things not to say to the infertile/adoptingS

So tonight one of the ladies at church told me she found my blog... I thought she meant my new one.... nope this one. I was like "Oh, the ranting blog...." and she mentioned how it broke her heart knowing that she'd made comments to us and never meant to hurt us and to see how I really hurt. I felt bad, but the whole point of this blog was knowing that one day, someone who was infertile or knew someone who was might find it and it might help them and keep them from feeling like I did. Alone.   I felt bad because I hated to make anyone feel bad and in all honestly she was never on my mind when I said those things. But she was grateful to know what not to say. So in your honor..... here is a list (and for anyone else who wantss to know.)

• Don't tell us to just relax. Yes, we know that for hundreds of years people have stopped thinking about it and gotten pregnant. But there is no medical backing for this. It may happen and it may not. But for many infertiles there is a documented medical proble and relaxing isn't going to take that away.
• Go on vacation (or drink milk, or eat sweet potatoes or any other gimmick someone swears by). Once again, documented medical problems such as low sperm counts or not ovulating, PCOS, hyperthyrodism etc are not auto cured by this. Can it help.... sure diet helps a lot. Is it proven? Nope. And at this point you don't need empty hope.
• At least you can adopt. Adoption is not an easy process. Ask anyone who has been there or those there now. It is a long and hard process that in all honestly though it may not have the physical pain of childbirth carries a lot of emotional stress with it. It's not a decision anyone makes lightly. It wasn't something they just got up and decided.
• Adopt and you'll get pregnant. See above comment about medical documention. Show me that in a medical book. And anyone who is adopting solely because they think they'll get pregnant is going to be sorely disappointed, especially if it doesn't happen. And if it does, how will your adopted child feel knowing that you favor the biological child over them. And trust me... kids know who is favored.
• Want my kids? Sure if you are that unappreciative of the blessings you have and take them so lightly I'll take them any day. It's not a joke. It's a hurtful comment to the person who wants nothing more than to have children.
• You're lucky you don't have any kids. I don't even have a comment on that. Way too hurtful.
• I was fertile Myrtle. Why thank you for rubbing your fertility in my face. It's not so easy for the rest of us. (this also goes for the.... he just looked at me and I got pregnant remark.)
• Oh just wait. I am. With gusto. And chances are I've waited a lot longer than you ever did.
• One day I'm gonna remind you of this when you are dealing with.......... I plan on enjoying every spit up and late night. WIll I get tired and frustrated? Sure I'm human. But right now... green poop and puke would be welcome.
• I'm sorry you are having to adopt? Adoption is not second best. In our case, we planned on it eventually anyway. Is it our first choice, no it's not many peoples... but God's best may not always be what we thought it was. This is God's plan for us. Don't diminish that.
• Why don't you adopt from your own race/country? Hmmmm why don't you adopt from your own race or country?

I'm sure I'll think of more later and come edit....but for now that seems to be a good start. And I need to work on some more paperwork and get to  bed.